Tuesday, February 26, 2013

oscars 2013

alright let's do this.  no messing around.

the oscars red carpet was good, but not great.  i didn't think anyone looked hideous, but i also thought a lot of people just looked pretty not drop dead gorgeous (save my best dressed).

and without further ado here's the list:

best hair: jessica chastain (zero dark thirty)
image from glamour.com
girlfriend's hair was straight up beautiful.  the color, the length, the curls, the part.  all perfect.  she's been on a lot of best dressed lists and i agree she looked smashing but the color of her dress didn't blow me away.  i think if it was a unique bright color she would have been my best dressed.

best makeup/earrings: jennifer lawrence (silver linings playbook)
image from glamour.com
j. la brought it in the makeup and earrings department.  the slightly smokey eye and the beautiful earrings were a win in my book.  i wasn't a fan of her dress.  it reminded too much of an over the top wedding gown, but i can't deny that she looked amazing.  by the way, she handled falling on the stairs like no one else.  i also liked that hugh jackman offered to help her, but she just took a moment to laugh and curse at herself before getting up.  congrats lady.  

best bottom (of the dress): zoe saldana (the words) (yes i know i'm reaching with this category, but i wanted to make sure everyone saw the bottom of her dress cause i loved it.)
straight off the runway.  i loved the bottom of this dress.  i hated the belt, but the bottom is straight fire.  also her shoes are definite f me heels.  knee down zoe, you are rocking the red carpet.

best color on the carpet: kerry washington (django unchained) (i know again with the made up category but it's my blog so deal with it.  plus you get to look at more pretty pictures.)
image from glamour.com
coral for the win!  i wasn't a fan of the top of the dress, but this color was too good to pass up.

and drumroll please....

best dressed female at the 2013 oscars goes to: naomi watts (the impossible)
image from glamour.com
talk about a visually stunning dress.  the neckline and the fit put her over the top.  this dress literally looked like it was sewed to her body.  it fit her unbelievably.  the neckline was amazeballs.  the shimmery material was stunning.  also her makeup, hair, and jewelry were absolutely perfect.  standing ovation for miss naomi.

honorable mention for almost best dressed: olivia munn
image from catwalkqueen.tv
holy dress batman!  the color is stunning.  the bodice is beautiful.  truth be told, i didn't see her walk the carpet, i just saw pictures after the fact, but girlfriend was bringing the heat at the oscars.

and check out the view from the back:
image from justjared.com
best looking from behind!  miss munn for the win!

best dressed male: ben affleck (argo)
image from nydailynews.com
call me a homer if you want, but ben has just killed this whole awards season.  the salt and pepper hair.  the dazzling smile.  he's just the best in my mind.  also, i actually said out loud, "i think he's overtaken clooney for me."  this is a big statement.  i think AJD gasped when i said it.

worst dressed male: quentin tarantino (django unchained)
leather tie.  no.  undone collar. double no.  i know it's quentin and he doesn't conform, blah blah blah.  he looked terrible.

worst dressed female: anne hathaway (les miserables)
image from glamour.com
iiiiiiiiiiiiiiicccccccckkkkkkk.  hey girl, you have a banging body.  why would you wear this bad prom dress monstrosity.  you've annoyed the poo out of me all awards season with your interviews and speeches, but you are a hottie.  why would you wear this?  if the front wasn't bad enough, check out the back:
image from justjared.com
the top looked like a speedo swimsuit and the random tie and slit just did not work.  the necklace also didn't go with the neckline in the front or the back.  just a total disaster in my mind.

and to finish up, here are my random thoughts from the night:
- seacrest is back with the poofy mane
- noooo eddie redmayne!  what's going on with your hair?  it's accentuating your receding hairline.
- amy adams bring the red hair back.  your dress/face looks so washed out.
- samantha barks?  oh she was in les mis.  you are a serious babe.
- channing tatum grrr
- octavia spencer woah bad weave
- reese witherspoon booooring.  you've done this look before.
- amanda seyfried meh
- woah catharine zeta jones has had a lot of face work done.
- norah jones = prom hair
- melissa mccarthy woah hair!  looks like you stuck your head out the limo window.
- helen hunt.  congrats your dress is from h and m.  guess what, you can tell.  the quality is subpar and it's wrinkly.
- jane fonda = hello vegas
- charlize theron is so hot but the dress has been done before by anne hathaway and michelle williams
- jennifer aniston, your hair is so boring
- bradley cooper: never slick back your mane again.
- jennifer garner, love the color of your dress, but the back is too much to handle.
- sandra bullock is trying to recapture the year she won the oscar by dressing exactly the same way she did that year.
- salma hayek, just say no to tiaras and the neckline.
- chris pine yum.
- the cloons looks old (hard to say but true)
- renee zelwegger, you've got to be kidding me.  have you botoxed your face so much that it's permanently stuck on duck face?
- richard gere has the whitest hair on the planet.
- jack nicholson is still a creeper but still awesome.
- dear m'obama, i still don't like the bangs but you're so pretty.

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