Monday, February 27, 2012

The Big Show

here we go.  oscars 2012 recap.  overall i was really disappointed with the dresses.  there was no one that i flat out loved.  yes, some people looked good, but no one super over the top great in my opinion.  i also thought that there were people who i didn't like, but no one who was seriously terrible.  so without further ado here are my thoughts:

tie for best dress: jessica chastain (the help) and milla jovovitch
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jessica's dress appeared very indian-inspired and i thought it looked great with her skin tone.  she also won in my opinion for best jewelry.  she was wearing yellow diamond drop earrings with a matching ring.  it was over $2 million in bling and it looked amazing with the dress.
milla was one of the first people i saw on the red carpet and i thought she looked beautiful.  overall dress, hair, and makeup were great in my book.

tie for worst dress: shailene woodley (the descendents) and stacy keibler
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oh shailene, why do you try to look so old.  you are a hottie with a body, show it off (or at the very least show your arms girl).  just totally wrong for her in my opinion.
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stacy, stacy, stacy.  really, you looks good in everything.  you're tall, toned, and purdy.  but this was just all wrong.  the giant flower right on your hip, the fabric was cheap looking, not a win in my book.  you're with arguably the best looking man on the red carpet, don't try to outshine him.

and finally here are some random thoughts that i wrote down during the red carpet show:

okay gwyneth, you're not a super hero, lose the cape.  without the cape, the dress is pretty but not dressy enough for the oscars.

dear brad pitt, get a hair cut for the love of god.

sandra bullock's dress looks loosey goosey and illy fitted.  her face on the other hand is looking extra tight.

natalie portman, you have dropped way down on my lesbian crush list.  there's nothing wrong with the polka dots, but it just doesn't scream oscar dress to me.

ryan seacrest is so pissed at the dictator.  highlight of the red carpet.

emma stone.  giant bow.  why?

octavia spencer looks pretty but her dress ages her.  

dear rooney mara, lose the bangs and stop dying your hair the color of shoe polish.  also your dress looks like fake spiderwebs up close.

leslie mann, you are so purdy in navy.

mya rudolph, pretty hair, pretty bird.

hello viola davis' boobies.

berenice bejo, pretty lady, icky dress.

ellie kemper, i heart you, but why is your hair and dress the same color?

melissa mccarthy, pretty hair, pretty bird.

michelle williams can pull off the mini skirt over the dress but it's just not doing it for me.

hello bradley cooper and your child molester-looking mustache.

angelina, eat a cheeseburger or wear sleeves, your elbows give me nightmares.

the dudes that made fun of angelina's leg pose were spectacular.


  1. the one dude that made fun on angelina's leg pose is on community...he plays the gay dean and is hilarious. Also, i still have a lesbian crush on the portman...i liked the red with the dots...very early 90's Delias ;)

  2. also - I HATED meryl streep's dress. You'd think after 17 noms she would know that gold lamme is always a bad choice...especially if you are in your 50's

  3. yes he's also from human giant and thus is friends with my beloved aziz ansari. i love meryl those cause she clearly doesn't give an f and does what she want and i love that about her. i agree though, did not enjoy the dress.